Like many other travellers with big dreams but little money, I jumped at the opportunity to be an Au-Pair abroad one summer. Teaching a bit of English to some kids and doing a bit of cleaning around the house in exchange for free accommodation and food in another country- how hard could it be? However, I quickly realised how much I underestimated the difficulty of being an Au-Pair after only a few days in Spain with my host family. Firstly, I hadn’t done my research properly, thinking I’d be living in the capital city itself but then finding out that the family actually lived about 40-minutes away from Madrid by (a pretty irregular) train in a town with very few other people my own age. Secondly, although I had one Skype call with the host family in order to see if our personalities matched, I soon realised how very different we were, and that trying to look after three boys aged between 8 and 13 who saw you as their summer holidays party-pooper was a pretty big challenge. In terms of personal differences, the family were very religious and upon discovering that I was not, looked at me in disgust. Moreover, although I only worked Monday to Friday, they often made me spend the weekends with them and when I occasionally went into the city centre, I had a curfew… I was 19-years-old at the time and even my own parents didn’t keep me on such a short leash! As for the kids, they quickly grew bored and blamed me for ruining their summer holidays, often ignoring me and refusing to speak English. Occasionally, the youngest one would punch my arm or kick me when he got in a mood. I was in Spain, 40-minutes from one of my favourite cities in the world, Madrid (although I would not realise this until later since this was my first time there), and yet I felt trapped and miserable. I’m not saying au-pairing is a dreadful experience for everyone. In fact, I know quite a few people who LOVED their experience and still go back every now and then to see their host families. However, I have friends who had negative experiences like mine- and in some cases even worse- and while I don’t regret doing it as it helped me become more independent and allowed me to experience certain aspects of Spanish life- hell, I personally wouldn’t do it again.
That being said, I’d advise anyone thinking of being an Au-Pair anywhere to consider the following things in advance:
- Use an agency to find an approved host family. I used Au-Pair World for free but there aremany paid sites which claim to be better.
- Make sure you speak to the family (Skype, social media, whatever) more than once before you go so you can get to know each of the family members and get a taste for their personalities.
- Check exactly where the family live and how far it is from any major cities.
- Triple-check what the family expects you to do when you get there- remember you aren’t there to be a maid, but rather you should be treated like another member of the family who is there to share cultures, do their fair share of the housework and, in many cases, help other members with a language.
At least the view was nice… - Be realistic. For example, be honest with yourself about the duties you can perform and the number of children you can handle- three boys so close in age was a nightmare for me!
- Make the most of the experience- engage with the family and their way of life as best you can when you arrive and take advantage of any trips they’re willing to take you on, etc. I can’t blame the whole negative experience on the host family as my naivety certainly prevented me from making the most of the situation- I think in a way I expected a lot more freedom and a lot less actual teaching! It didn’t help that I lied to myself that I liked children…
- Check Au-Pair groups on Facebook- there are loads of other Au-Pairs all over the world, so why not meet up with one near you? It’s a great way to make new friends who are in a similar situation- something I wish I’d engaged with more during my time as an Au-Pair.
- Stay in touch if you have a positive experience- that way both parties have someone and somewhere to visit for years to come!
I ended up staying with the family for one month and spending two more weeks in hostels and with a friend in Madrid itself, finally making the most of my time in Spain! And, in the end it was my experience in the Spanish capital that led me to do my Erasmus placement in Madrid 2 years later, so it wasn’t all bad…
